


behind your closed bedroom door

by Jonzzfi



Series: new memories in our past [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Child Loss, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 19:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18533980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonzzfi/pseuds/Jonzzfi
Summary: She froze in place, straining her hearing to catch it again. For a few seconds, she could only hear her own breathing, unnecessarily loud in her ears.Then, there it was again. It was soft, muffled.. A sob? Was someone crying?





	behind your closed bedroom door

**Author's Note:**

> I cranked this out in three hours and did not proofread so!! :)))))))

Vanya regained consciousness on their second day in the past. Inside her childhood bedroom, with a splitting headache and no powers. It took Allison almost two hours to calm her down to the point where she could explain what had happened to them. There were tears and apologies and hugs.. Then the others tentatively came into the room and there were even more tears and apologies. Vanya still had trouble believing it. How they apologized to _her_ , little Number Seven..

They all promised to make things better between them. They wanted to take better care of each other. It didn't mean that everything was suddenly okay now, but they would get there. Eventually. Some relationships might take a bit longer to heal than others, Vanya thought every time she flinched away from Luther.

When that moment of reconciliation and love was over, they had to take stock of their situation. They were stuck in the past. As children.

"No way of getting back yet," Five said. "And even if we did, who knows what we would be getting back _to_. It's best if we stay low for now. As long as we don't change things, the Commission will have no reason to look for us here."

They had been stuck in their own childhood for two weeks now.

Two _horrible_ weeks of living under their father's rule again, pretending to be the children they used to be. They found comfort in each other, as much as they could. They had hushed conversations behind closed doors. They casually touched each other whenever possible. Klaus was especially tactile, throwing his arms around their shoulders or tapping his foot against someone else's underneath the dinner table. Vanya welcomed Klaus's touch, because it served to ground her and calm her down. She liked it.

She hoped it helped Klaus as much as it helped her. Klaus was struggling with his new-found sobriety and with losing someone important (she didn't know the details, he didn't want to talk about it). Vanya also thought Klaus missed Ben, who had locked himself in his bedroom on their fourth day back and hadn't come out since. There was too much stimuli in the world for someone who had been dead for over a decade.

_I'm jealous of him. He doesn't have to see dad,_ Vanya thought as she got ready for bed after an extremely unpleasant family dinner. She immediately felt ashamed. Ben wasn't staying away for such selfish reasons, he was currently in pain just from existing.

Vanya had lived alone for years, and it was odd to be back in the academy. She missed her own apartment. Weirdly enough, what she missed the most was the noise. Other people going about their business in the building, at all times of the day. The world outside her window, always in motion..

In the academy, nights were so quiet. Unnaturally quiet. The world outside had been shut out so tightly that a train could pass by without them waking. The kids weren't allowed to move about at night. There was no getting up to use the bathroom, or getting water, or sneaking out like teenagers were supposed to. There was no midnight visits to other rooms, there was no talking. There was no noise.

Vanya found it hard to sleep in such stillness. Most nights, she tossed and turned for hours before falling into a restless, shallow sleep. Tonight, sleep would not come. Her body ached all over from secret training sessions with Diego and Allison. Her powers had been slowly coming back as she recovered from overusing them so suddenly after years of suppression, and her siblings wanted to prepare her for it properly this time.

Vanya kicked her blanket off. She wasn't hot, but she was feeling restless. No position felt right. She was almost ready to turn on her bedside lamp and start reading. At this rate, she would be having another sleepless night. She was turning over to reach for the switch when she heard a quiet noise from the hallway. She froze in place, straining her hearing to catch it again. For a few seconds, she could only hear her own breathing, unnecessarily loud in her ears.

Then, there it was again. It was soft, muffled.. A sob? Was someone crying?

Vanya held her breath in order to hear better. Someone was definitely crying. She sat up, swinging her feet over the side of the bed and to the ground as quietly as she could. She snuck to her door and very slowly pressed the doorhandle down. The door opened with a soft click, which would hopefully go unheard by the person crying. She hesitated in the open doorway.

If she stepped outside, she would be breaking a rule. They were supposed be staying out of trouble, laying low. Was she really going to risk angering dad, and maybe her siblings as well?

Another sob cut through the silence. It came from down the hall, behind Allison's closed bedroom door. Vanya's breath caught in her throat. Allison was crying. _To hell with dad's rules._

With nine quick and silent steps, she was in front of Allison's door. Now she could hear it more clearly. Not just sobs, but small whimpers and gasps for air. Should she knock? She raised her fist to the wood and faltered. What if Allison didn't want anyone around when she was crying? What if Allison didn't want _her_ there?

Vanya shook herself. At least she could offer. She raised her fist again, more confident, and knocked twice. The crying inside stopped abruptly.

"Allison?" she called. "It's me. Vanya. I heard.. Are you okay?"

There was no answer. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Can I come in?" she tried. A moment passed in silence, and her heart seemed to sink to the bottom of her stomach. She wasn't wanted here. She was so stupid, why would Allison want her here. She turned away to return to her own room. _Stupid, stupid, stu-_

"Okay," Allison said. Her voice was faint. "You can come in, Vanya."

Vanya could hardly believe her own ears, but she grasped the doorhandle and opened the door. It was dark inside. Illuminated only by moonlight, Allison was laying on her bed with her back to the door. Vanya closed the door behind her.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "You're crying."

"No, it's nothing, sorry. I'm fine," Allison tried to reassure her. She didn't turn around.

Vanya came to sit behind her back. She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't have any experience comforting crying people. Allison sniffled, and raised a hand to swipe underneath her eyes and nose.

Vanya's hands clenched into fists. She could feel her temper flaring. "You're _not_ fine, Allison!"

Allison only continued swiping away the remnants of her emotions. Vanya's anger faded away quickly, before it even had a chance to grow. Allison was hurting. This was no time for her to lose control. Vanya put her hand on Allison's arm.

"Allison," she said softly. Softer than she thought possible. "What's wrong? Is this.."

A sudden horrible thought came to her. She had never seen Allison cry like this. Not much could affect her like this. So it had to be.. Vanya spoke again, her voice slightly more hoarse than before.

"Is this about Claire?"

Allison's whole body convulsed suddenly with the power of her suppressed sobs. She tried to muffle her cries with a hand on her mouth, but they slipped through her fingers. Tears rolled down, wetting her face and the pillow beneath her head.

Vanya was terrified. She had never thought her strong sister could break down like this. But she had to be strong for Allison. Vanya laid down behind Allison, gathering her into her arms.

"It's okay, just let it out.. You can cry. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Vanya held Allison as she cried her heart out. Tears escaped Vanya's eyes as well, but she kept talking until she had no idea what she was saying, and then she talked some more. She stroked Allison's hair, kissed her cheek, squeezed her tight into her chest. They must've laid there for hours. The sun was coming up by the time Allison's sobs ceased and turned into soft sniffles.

The house was still quiet. Vanya wondered how the others could've slept through it all. Allison turned over in her arms, looking at her for the first time all night. Her eyes were watery and bloodshot. Her nose was rubbed red.

"Thank you," she whispered. Her voice was all but gone, but the weight of her words sat heavy on Vanya's chest.

"Anytime."

Allison took hold of Vanya's hand and raised it to lay between their chests. She entangled their fingers together. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she struggled to find her words. Vanya waited patiently.

"I lost her," Allison whispered. "I lost my baby."

She closed her eyes after saying that. Her mouth twisted like she wanted to cry again, but she had no more tears left. Vanya's heart hurt at the sight.

"We don't know that yet," she said. The thoughts spun around in her head too fast to be put into words. Five could still take them back into the future at some point. Or they would live their lives exactly the way they had. Or.. or..

Allison shook her head resolutely. "I know."

Her eyes held pain that Vanya could never understand. Vanya didn't know what to say. So she didn't say anything. She squeezed Allison's hand and pressed their foreheads together. The only thing she could do..

She could be there for her.


End file.
